Fun post! There's much to ponder here.
Here's a random thought: Suppose we create a parallel nation called the Teleological States of America. Obama can be their president and most of the news media and universities would be governed by the President, the Congress, and the Supreme Court of the TSA [no pun intended.] Meanwhile, only materialists will hold seats in these offices of the USA. The US government will act to secure liberty and promote the general welfare while the TS government will work independently from them to think the same ends into being. With both sides working together in this new harmonious and non-confrontational manner only a positive and progressive future can result.