November 15, 2012

Thousands of needless deaths...

I got two new toys from Amazon Santa yesterday. Have you seen these timers? To set a 5 minute timer, you set it so the 5 faces up; 0 to turn it off. Brilliant.

John Stossel has this one guy on every year who awards $1000 to the stupidest warning label or instruction. I saw the metronome directions and wondered what manner of dire warnings would be in it. I expected: "Do Not Bring Metronome into the bathtub!" "Do not use for brain surgery!"

Surprisingly, there was nothing outrageous. Take the batteries out if you're putting it away for a long time. Do not store in sunlight. Fair.

Then I picked up the docs for the kitchen timer and got my reward:

No doubt they'd get sued -- but, really?

Posted by John Kranz at November 15, 2012 10:20 AM

Why do most hair dryers come with the warning, "Do not use while sleeping"?

Posted by: Steve D at November 15, 2012 2:39 PM

I don't know, Steve, I threw mine in the fire.

Posted by: jk at November 15, 2012 3:35 PM

You can ignore that warning. I do. It saves a lot of time to dry my hair before the alarm clock goes off.

Posted by: johngalt at November 15, 2012 5:01 PM

And heeeeeeeeeeeeere's why:

No matter how much these warnings and instructions insult our intelligence, there's somebody out there for whom it's still not sufficiently spelled out. Or, to put it more prosaically: build an idiot-proof safety device, and devolution will develop an idiot who can defeat it.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 15, 2012 6:28 PM

Yeah -- I'd love the backstory for "do not throw the kitchen timer into the fire." That has to be good.

I'm sorry I got off topic. I really am amazed -- and pleased -- with the interface to the timer. That is just cool. I plan to buy another for the office to keep meetings moving along.

Posted by: jk at November 15, 2012 6:54 PM

I appreciate the design of the kitchen timer, but just not enough options. I mean, I see five minutes, and I see thirty minutes. We know there's a zero on one of the three other faces. That leaves, I'm guessing a ten and a twenty. Not helpful for three-minute eggs, a forty-five minute cake, or a four-hour turkey a week from today. ("Nice segue on the Thanksgiving theme, Arnold!")

So, a D6 works as a snooze alarm, but not as a kitchen timer. That D6 needs to be a D20 if it's for the kitchen.

Say, guess what game I spent a lot of time playing in college.

Oh, and, pink?

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 15, 2012 7:11 PM

No, it's purple.

Posted by: Jk at November 15, 2012 11:34 PM

"Hey dear, have you seen where the kids left my three-minutes-twenty timer?"

Posted by: johngalt at November 16, 2012 11:04 AM

No, you fatheads. Listen up! We can agree to disagree on immigration policy, drug decriminalization, the possessive singular, and the DH. But you must see the elegance of the Datexx timer.

Set the timer by simply resting the cube with the desired time facing up - 5, 15, 30 or 60 minutes

A loud alarm will ring when the time is up - simply set it back to zero at the top to silence it

Great for meetings, homework, napping exercise or cooking

More to life than eggs, lads. The purple one does 5, 10, 20 and 30 minutes. Just do not throw it into the fire.

Posted by: jk at November 16, 2012 12:14 PM | What do you think? [9]