Anna Nicole Smith

You thought ThreeSources would not weigh in on the already weighty news matters of the time? Two thoughts:

1) How can lefties really worry about the impact of FOXNews? Trust me, they are always way too busy chasing after (Chandra Levy/Laci Petersen/Natalee Holloway/Anna Nicole Smith/&c) to really promote any kind of conservative political vision. There’s only 24 times seven in a week and some woman is always missing in a country of 300 million.

2) I was jarred out of complacency by this TCS story Douglas Kern also wonders "Who is this odd, dead, clownish blonde woman whose ghost has apparently taken the international mass media hostage?" But he follows it with a compelling point about free will.

But would Smith have wanted her life any other way? Suppose an angel had descended upon our heroine back in 1991, and said to her: "Look, your life can go in two directions here. If you walk away from this doddering old man now, you can spend your days working jobs that involve hairnets and nametags, bounce around in dreary relationships with an uninspiring array of greasy working-class schlubs, bear a few kids by a few dads, enjoy a few years of cut-rate Peyton Place drama for the six or seven years that your looks hold out, and then putter along doing nothing of relevance until Social Security kicks in, so you can watch daytime TV for hours on end in your battered old trailer until your heart gives out at age 93. Then again, if you go with the old guy, you'll achieve worldwide fame, huge amounts of money, and a marriage that will make you a billionaire in theory. Adolescent males around the globe will be ogling your naughty pictures on the Internet for years, perhaps centuries. You'll star in your own TV show, endorse products for nationwide advertisements, travel the world, have sex with the world's most eligible bachelors, take the best drugs, and live a life of hedonistic bliss punctuated only by occasional moments of family tragedy, until you die suddenly of acute celebrity-itis at age 39. Which will it be?"

You put it like that...

UPDATE: Spelling fixed Nichole/Nicole

Posted by jk at February 27, 2007 1:14 PM