January 23, 2006

Shape Up With Sam's Club

I'm NOT a Wal*Mart basher. I am a Sam's Club member and I defend the colossus from my "folk Marxist"* friends frequently.

But I have to laugh at this week's email circular. January is National Fitness Month, so we are told to "Shape Up With Sam's Club!"

Put down the bratwurst and potato salad buddy, it's time to get fit -- and Sam's Club is here to help with these invigorating selections:

  • NFL Tailgate Toss beanbag football game (Mistakenly, the advice to consult a physician before trying this activity seems to have been omitted...)

  • A Treadmill

  • a weight machine

  • a 61" HiDef TV (burn some calories draggin' that in from the truck, boy!)

  • 42" plasma HDTV

  • 50" Dell(r) plasma HDTV

  • digital camera, computer, &c. No more exercise gear...

I am beat from all that typin' -- open me up a Little Debbie snack cake to get my energy back...

Posted by jk at January 23, 2006 4:28 PM

Hell, they didn't even mention 12-ounce curls! Don't they sell liquor? If not, try Costco instead with wholesale liquor outlets at select warehouses.

There's nothing quite like a Little Debbie creme roll with a Bud Light chaser. Physical fitness AND haute cuisine!

Posted by: johngalt at January 23, 2006 6:58 PM

Yup, they sell booze as well. I think your training regimen would be ideal for one preparing for a tough game of NFL Tailgate Toss....

Posted by: jk at January 23, 2006 7:12 PM | What do you think? [2]